This is an edited version of my journal entry on March 28, 2024. Feeling overwhelmed by confusion, on this day I noted my internal dialogues on the concept of purpose.

As I transcribed my handwriting into a digital piece, I kept the majority of the text as raw as possible, nonetheless, I added ‘Voice 1’ and ‘Voice 2’ for clarity.

Voice 1 and Voice 2 were not me, but they emerged from within me. I, on the other hand, was the listener and the notetaker during this exploration.

Let the conversation of two begin...

Journal Entry: MORNING PAGES | 28 Mar 2024 
(I will talk about the practice of Morning Pages after this exploration.)

Voice 1: What is purpose? What is my purpose? Do I have to have a purpose? Why is it so important to have a purpose?

Voice 2: How do you define purpose?

Voice 1: A way to validate one’s existence. (This is what first popped in my mind.)

Voice 2: ‘To validate.’ Why do we even need to validate our existence? We do exist regardless of any validation, don’t we?

Voice 1: Maybe it’s a way to feel good about our existence, because otherwise: what am I doing here?

Voice 2: What are you doing here?

Voice 1: The obvious answer is “I’m living.” I am here, so, I am living. Whether or not I have a purpose, whether or not my existence is accepted or praised, I do exist.

Voice 2: Why do you need a purpose, then?

Voice 1: I guess it makes life more meaningful.

Voice 2: Do you mean that life is not meaningful without a purpose?

Voice 1: I want to say: no. Life is meaningful because of its experiences, which are the moments lived and shared with others.

Voice 2: Exactly. Life is meaningful for what it is. The act of living itself is meaningful. It is fortunate to live life.

Voice 1: What is meaning?

Voice 2: Having value, being valuable, being worthy of effort.

Voice 1: For life to be valuable, does it have to have a purpose?

Voice 2: No. Each moment of life is valuable and never granted—although we more often than not assume so.

Voice 1: There is one purpose, then, which is to live. But, what is ‘to live’?

Voice 2: To live is to experience life by taking part in it, by attending it.

Voice 1: What is the opposite of ‘to live’ then? Because it is not ‘to die.’

Voice 2: The opposite of ‘to live’ is ‘to just exist.’
‘To just exist’ is when life happens to you and you just exist through it.

‘To live’ is to team up with Life; it’s a teamwork stemming from a team effort. ‘To just exist’ is to do the bare minimum to stay alive while resenting it all.

Voice 1: Is this why people who just exist have to indulge in substances and activities of sole pleasure?

Voice 2: Yes, maybe. Indulgence in pleasure creates the illusionary experience of ‘to live,’ which, at the core, is only numbing what’s painful. It’s almost a synonym for ‘to just exist,’ only without pain. Though, it’s very short-lived. For it to be sustained, one has to keep indulging—a cycle that leaves the indulger even more drained, even more hungry.

Voice 1: So far it looks like this: Purpose = To Live = To Take Active Part in The Team of Life
What is ‘taking active part in the team of Life’?

Voice 2: The team is you, Life, and others in your life.

Voice 2: Taking active part in the team of Life is:
· Doing what you can with what you have to sustain and improve your life and the lives of others, and...
· Taking good care of yourself and those around you.

Voice 1: But these don’t make money!

Voice 2: Purpose isn't necessarily about making money. Regardless, I disagree with your statement, and here's why: Making money is simply an exchange of value, money being a tool of value transition. Therefore, when you provide something of value, it's not unlikely that you receive money in return. I believe anything done with a spirit of service and genuine care are remarkable values.

Morning Pages
Morning Pages is a daily practice of unfiltered handwriting, ideally done early in the morning before the rush of the day begins. It's introduced by Julia Cameron in her book "The Artist's Way." It's considered as a tool for reflection, problem-solving, and creative expression.

I mostly use Morning Pages as a means to capture and transcribe my internal experiences onto paper as if I sat down for a Vipassana meditation, also known as insight meditation. I try to observe what there is without judgement while sometimes incorporating a childlike curiosity toward what I witness. I don't hold myself back from asking questions to deepen conversations.

As a person who had tried and failed to regularly journal many times, combining the discipline of Morning Pages with the approach of Vipassana Meditation has been working very well for me. Although I fail to do it daily, I try my best to engage in this practice as often as possible.

I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to cultivate a more profound understanding of their inner workings, liberate their mind from constant stream of thought, and adopt a non-reactive attitude towards life.

Last Words
I’ve read many definitions of purpose from various sources, but coming out with my own version is what has helped me the most.

Let this one be the one of many definitions you’ve been exposed to, and start your own exploration now.